kevin smith is the worst person on the planet.

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kevin smith is the worst person on the planet.

Postby aeymxq » Thu Mar 08, 2007 2:28 pm

so recently i re-watched dogma, and i am struck with how dumb it is.

lettuce examine the various fallacies:
loki is not an angel, he is a norse god of mischief and evil. loki is a scandernavian name which is about as far away from israel as you can mother fucking get.

serendipity is not a fucking muse. i suppose mr. smith was trying to be clever by using the word as a muse's name (serendipity means accidental discovery - bone a muse and you get gud ideaz), but, what the fuck muse could she be? calliope, the muse of epic poems? thalia, muse of comedy? erato, muse of porn?

along the same lines is the entire character of azrael: azrael is not a greecian name. it's a DEMONIC name.
and muses weren't fucking male. jesus christ that was a dumb idea. none of them 'fell' because muses aren't angels.

of course, these are just the characters. as a director of movies, kevin smith fails TERRIBLY. his direction technique is purely textbook, completely elementary and bland. it's like he bought a book on How To Make Movies. his shots, his cinemotography, lighting, music and scripts are entirely bland and without interest.
lauded director that he is, it's kind of fishy that he is so fucking BLAND. there's nothing to look for. there aren't any cool shots. there aren't cool lighting effects. there isn't great music in any of his movies, except for that new pornos song played in the background in jay and silent bob.

his stories are dumb. you think that his characters are supposed to be ironic archetypes, like every character in a frank miller comic or in slaughterhouse-five or in a quentin tarentino movie, but it's not like that at all. his characters aren't 2-D, badly acted and terribly developed for a purpose - they're like that because he can't write a fucking character, nor can he direct a fucking actor.

DEVIATION FROM SUBJECT AND POINTLESS FLAMING GO!
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Postby EmperorJeramyu » Thu Mar 08, 2007 2:31 pm

I didn't like dogma either. It's a shame, too. George Carlin is a funny guy, but every movie he's been in has been of a... depressing quality.
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Postby Sling » Thu Mar 08, 2007 3:01 pm

The only thing I knew about Dogma is that it had the matey who played Prof. Snape in it.
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Postby MusashiEX » Thu Mar 08, 2007 4:22 pm

The fact that Alanis Morissette is God threw me off.
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Postby Wellsy » Fri Mar 09, 2007 1:18 am

aeymxq makes points I can actually agree with. There are a few Kevin Smith movies I like, such as Mallrats or Jay and Silent Bob, but Dogma is not one of them. I never saw Smith as being technically brilliant as a director, just as a decent writer of comedies.
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Postby aeymxq » Fri Mar 09, 2007 2:09 pm

Wellsy630 wrote:aeymxq makes points I can actually agree with. There are a few Kevin Smith movies I like, such as Mallrats or Jay and Silent Bob, but Dogma is not one of them. I never saw Smith as being technically brilliant as a director, just as a decent writer of comedies.


kevin smith is lauded as a good alternative director. he's supposed to be the nerdy, geeky person's director. he's supposed to be bringing things like transformers and fart jokes to the mainstream.

but if you want transformers, watch the fucking show; if you want fart jokes, watch sarah silverman. all kevin smith is doing is making alternativity trendy: he is, partly, responsible for faggot indie kids and hipsters saying that they like the original metroid (A TERRIBLE GAME) and space invaders (FUCKING BORING).

mallrats, i must admit, had a few good jokes, and it's actually not that bad, now that i think about it, but it's still not the great, amazing comedy it's supposed to be.

jay and silent bob is fucking retarded. it tries to spoof hollywood and mainstream movie culture at every time, but it DOESN'T, it just conforms to it itself.

all those musical love-scenes and slow-motion sequences are fucking retarded. it's the same thing with the trailer park boys movie, except that movie is a billion times better: they got a budget, and it just ruined everything. it ceased being a mockumentary and just became another hollywood comedy.

same thing with the ali g movie, actually.
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Postby Cryora » Mon Mar 19, 2007 6:19 pm

So what should we all learn from this?
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Postby Burning_Flame » Mon Mar 19, 2007 7:07 pm

That burning doesn't read really long posts, unless burning thinks there going to be quality. Burning also learned that everything cooler in the third person.
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Postby Squiggy » Mon Mar 19, 2007 8:51 pm

Squiggy has known this for some time, burning must be slow.
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Postby Strayed Wanderer » Mon Mar 19, 2007 11:42 pm

Speaking in the third person is against one of our hidden rules... Of course, even the admins don't know of these hidden rules... so it makes them hard to enforce.

And yes, they are called "Hidden Rules...", you can't forget the dots.
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Postby aeymxq » Thu Mar 22, 2007 1:19 pm

i guess this calls for a das boot.
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Postby black feather » Thu Mar 22, 2007 2:21 pm

feather only speaks in the thid person to match his ego and promote feathers brand of greatness. feather likes speaking in the third person but deather needs to get a new avatar and work on teories :lol:
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Postby Burning_Flame » Fri Mar 23, 2007 11:03 am

What did I start....
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Postby Sarcasm » Fri Mar 23, 2007 11:23 am

Burning_Flame wrote:What did I start....

Die, die and be forgotten
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Postby aeymxq » Sun Mar 25, 2007 1:45 pm

great
now this thread sucks, too.
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