Most boring story ever...

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Most boring story ever...

Postby Angel_OA » Fri Jun 29, 2007 6:34 am

One of my friends keeps writing these fantasy novels and they're all the same. Crap, crap and crap. I keep getting sent copies of his lastest works and asked to give feedback.
Most of the time I just say 'uhh, yeah it's fine' and try and change the subject but they're just getting more and more ridiculous.
Here's the opening line of the newest one:
"Tarthelian’s dark eyes slowly examined his foe, standing not more than six feet in front of him."
Now if I didn't know any better I'd honestly think the story was a parody.
In short he can't write for shit but he's so convinced that his stories are brilliant he keeps on writing them.
He wastes months of his life writing this stuff.
What would be the gentlest way to let him know he's GOT to stop?
From what my barber told me, I now knew that nothing was real.
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Postby Sarcasm » Fri Jun 29, 2007 7:15 am

Tell him he sucks and offer advice on how to improve, failure and defeat are the best teachers.
1,000,000,672+1D4 Bludgeoning to the face, bitch!
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Postby Sling » Fri Jun 29, 2007 8:10 am

Cut of his hands with a Naginata.
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Postby Teenr0cker » Fri Jun 29, 2007 10:48 am

Fuck with his head. Say they're so good, you want him to do Furry Fic. But say you don't know about that stuff (its too "advanced") and suggest he try asking for input from one of their many communities online.


The idea will either strike him as normal, which means you need a new friend, or totally absurd, which may mean they'll realize that you don't care and you were saying in a very subtle manner that you lack further interest. Nurture that latter conclusion. He'll get to it soon enough.
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Postby Otaku No Anime » Fri Jun 29, 2007 1:09 pm

Why don't you actually give critiques, and then they'll start sucking less? =/
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Postby Strayed Wanderer » Fri Jun 29, 2007 1:54 pm

Show him this post.
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Re: Most boring story ever...

Postby EmperorJeramyu » Fri Jun 29, 2007 4:11 pm

Angel_OA wrote:"Tarthelian’s dark eyes slowly examined his foe, standing not more than six feet in front of him."

Tell him I actually laughed out loud when I read this.
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Postby Wellsy » Sat Jun 30, 2007 12:08 am

You need to be bluntly honest with him (not a dick, though). As a writer myself, if someone gave me constructive criticism, I'd take it as a tool to perfect what's not working. If he's serious about improving as a writer, he'll take your criticism in stride. If he gets all pissy, he's not worth doing anything other than fan fiction and movie novelizations.
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Postby Sling » Sat Jun 30, 2007 7:05 am

Speaking on novelisations, when is someone (preferrably fwacho) going to write/finish The Way novelisation?
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Postby Strayed Wanderer » Tue Jul 03, 2007 8:20 pm

It's sad that I can actually write better than that...
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Postby Sling » Wed Jul 04, 2007 2:29 am

Me too...
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Postby Shindy » Wed Jul 04, 2007 10:35 am

even i don't write like that...

Angel, unless you care much for this sap of a friend or he owes you money, do what Otaku said. Showing him this post would be a good idea too.
Last edited by Shindy on Wed Jul 04, 2007 2:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Aegis » Wed Jul 04, 2007 2:03 pm

Sarcasm wrote:Tell him he sucks and offer advice on how to improve, failure and defeat are the best teachers.

Wellsy630 wrote:You need to be bluntly honest with him (not a dick, though). As a writer myself, if someone gave me constructive criticism, I'd take it as a tool to perfect what's not working. If he's serious about improving as a writer, he'll take your criticism in stride. If he gets all pissy, he's not worth doing anything other than fan fiction and movie novelizations.

Otaku No Anime wrote:Why don't you actually give critiques, and then they'll start sucking less? =/


QFT

EDIT: And yes, even I, of all people, can write better than that.
EDIT EDIT: Even though the entrance for my character into the Risen sucked. That was just a fluke. >_>
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Postby Shindy » Wed Jul 04, 2007 2:08 pm

Aegis! it has been a while!!! for SECOND TIME!!!!!! U've went missing.

Did you decide to return? How'd your quest go? :lol:
JK

Well, I'll try not to be like this guy at all for my first book that I am writing. In other words, will try not to be corny as hell.
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Postby Aegis » Wed Jul 04, 2007 2:25 pm

Shindy wrote:Aegis! it has been a while!!! for SECOND TIME!!!!!! U've went missing.


[offtopic] Yeah, I do that a lot. [/offtopic]
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