Most boring story ever...

Home of the Crestfallen Few. Chat about whatever you like.

Moderators: Porter, EmperorJeramyu, Telephalsion

Postby Shindy » Wed Jul 04, 2007 2:32 pm

[offtopic] heh, just like some other people here who has 1 day time different on registration, you are my... err... 1-day-different-time-registerer (gosh that sounds awful). [/offtopic]
User avatar
Shindy
Dark Lyn
 
Posts: 623
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 1:12 pm

Postby Aegis » Wed Jul 04, 2007 8:07 pm

Shindy wrote:[offtopic](gosh that sounds awful)[/offtopic]


I wonder why.
Shop smart, shop S-Mart.

<Jeramyu> I'm going to mistranslate our own anime, and piss ourselves off.
User avatar
Aegis
S3 Hilyn
 
Posts: 402
Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2005 8:18 pm
Location: At my computer.

Postby Dr. Casey » Thu Jul 05, 2007 2:11 pm

Yeah, let's all judge the guy's overall skills as an author based on a single sentence. That's a great, perfectly fair idea.
sqpat17 wrote:Slade: Maybe the sword flew over and landed in his chest. "Oof! Stabbed by two shadow swords in one week!" Okay, maybe not.
Dr. Casey
S2 Hilyn
 
Posts: 278
Joined: Mon Sep 06, 2004 8:50 pm

Postby EmperorJeramyu » Thu Jul 05, 2007 3:25 pm

Dr. Casey wrote:Yeah, let's all judge the guy's overall skills as an author based on a single sentence. That's a great, perfectly fair idea.

But that single sentence says so much...

I dunno, can you post more, Angel?
"Unfortunately, the dragon only speaks in Napalm, a curious ancient language that you don't really need to speak to understand."
User avatar
EmperorJeramyu
Blana Sera
 
Posts: 2277
Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2004 5:38 pm

Postby Shindy » Thu Jul 05, 2007 8:15 pm

Only more flame would come out of that, but I think it's worth it this time :lol:
User avatar
Shindy
Dark Lyn
 
Posts: 623
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 1:12 pm

Postby Angel_OA » Fri Jul 06, 2007 5:44 am

The Drenorian Kingdom was the Northern Kingdom of Ethilon, and was currently at war with the South-Western Kingdom of Ruthan, and the Plains of Meredain, where the battle had taken place, lay on the border. The Ruthan and Drenorian Kingdoms had a long history of war, and a general bad-feeling existed between its peoples. The other kingdom, the South-Eastern Kingdom of Xeressa was neutral in this war, trying to regain its strength after a civil uprising and their continuous plight with the beasts of the wild lands which surround many of their settlements.

I'm surprised so many people find it as painfully bad as I do. I'm glad that it wasn't just me.
This paragraph is explaining some back story, I chose it because it shows his general way with words. See if you can follow it right to the end.
From what my barber told me, I now knew that nothing was real.
User avatar
Angel_OA
S3 Hilyn
 
Posts: 481
Joined: Sun Jul 09, 2006 5:48 pm
Location: Area 51

Postby Sling » Fri Jul 06, 2007 6:36 am

I guess he's into Kingdom's. No Imperialists then?
In this day and age, an era where there are people who actually throw shit at each other, anything, could be possible.
User avatar
Sling
S5 Corlyn
 
Posts: 2245
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2005 8:56 am
Location: San Antonio, TX

Postby Shindy » Fri Jul 06, 2007 6:48 am

The names of kingdoms are too medieval to be fantasy, and I see a couple grammar mistakes that MS Word wouldn't fix. He could use a different explanation for neutrality of Xeressa, that is just lame. Replace general bad-feeling with constant struggle.

So where does this paragraph go in his story?
User avatar
Shindy
Dark Lyn
 
Posts: 623
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 1:12 pm

Postby Angel_OA » Fri Jul 06, 2007 6:54 am

In the first chapter after a battle. I think it's after the troops eat some sausages...
From what my barber told me, I now knew that nothing was real.
User avatar
Angel_OA
S3 Hilyn
 
Posts: 481
Joined: Sun Jul 09, 2006 5:48 pm
Location: Area 51

Postby Telephalsion » Fri Jul 06, 2007 7:49 am

The Drenorian Kingdom was the Northern Kingdom of Ethilon, and was currently at war with the South-Western Kingdom of Ruthan, and the Plains of Meredain, where the battle had taken place, lay on the border. The Ruthan and Drenorian Kingdoms had a long history of war, and a general bad-feeling existed between its peoples. The other kingdom, the South-Eastern Kingdom of Xeressa was neutral in this war, trying to regain its strength after a civil uprising and their continuous plight with the beasts of the wild lands which surround many of their settlements.

The Kingdom of Drenor, the northernmost kingdom of Ethelion, was presently at war with Ruthan, which laid in south-west of Ethelion. The battle took place in the plains of Meredain, on the border between the warring nations. The strife dated back through history and the two peoples shared only dislike for eachother. While these two nations waged their war, Xeressa of the south-east strived...

Oh hell, you get the point.
It sucks, a 13-year old could do better.
Greatchickenman wrote:I'm up for any type of female at least once.


Any type of female.
User avatar
Telephalsion
S4 Deralyn
 
Posts: 3746
Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2004 8:31 am
Location: Frozen Wastes of Northern Sweden

Postby Aegis » Fri Jul 06, 2007 10:36 am

Angel_OA wrote:The Drenorian Kingdom was the Northern Kingdom of Ethilon, and was currently at war with the South-Western Kingdom of Ruthan, and the Plains of Meredain, where the battle had taken place, lay on the border. The Ruthan and Drenorian Kingdoms had a long history of war, and a general bad-feeling existed between its peoples. The other kingdom, the South-Eastern Kingdom of Xeressa was neutral in this war, trying to regain its strength after a civil uprising and their continuous plight with the beasts of the wild lands which surround many of their settlements.


Image

This person isn't me. However, he expresses my thoughts perfectly on this matter.

EDIT: Maybe I was a bit harsh. You be the judge, etc...
Shop smart, shop S-Mart.

<Jeramyu> I'm going to mistranslate our own anime, and piss ourselves off.
User avatar
Aegis
S3 Hilyn
 
Posts: 402
Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2005 8:18 pm
Location: At my computer.

Postby Strayed Wanderer » Fri Jul 06, 2007 11:27 am

Is he blow drying his hair?
User avatar
Strayed Wanderer
S4 Corlyn
 
Posts: 1919
Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2004 5:56 pm

Postby Teenr0cker » Fri Jul 06, 2007 12:40 pm

With lasers. Or lead. At least, he's trying to.
Sage Of The Wise wrote:This sounds like the beginning of a sitcom. Think about it: "Coming this fall to Fox, Ralphie and the Hooker".
User avatar
Teenr0cker
S2 Deralyn
 
Posts: 3001
Joined: Fri Aug 20, 2004 11:52 am

Postby Shindy » Fri Jul 06, 2007 4:56 pm

Nah he's trying to inject himself with nanites.
User avatar
Shindy
Dark Lyn
 
Posts: 623
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 1:12 pm

Postby Angel_OA » Fri Jul 06, 2007 5:23 pm

Maybe he's filling his ears with hot glue. That'd be a slow death alright.
From what my barber told me, I now knew that nothing was real.
User avatar
Angel_OA
S3 Hilyn
 
Posts: 481
Joined: Sun Jul 09, 2006 5:48 pm
Location: Area 51

PreviousNext

Return to The Scratch Wall

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 20 guests

cron