Whilst having stupid people in on something is undesirable, it can, however, sometimes work to your advantage. For instance, whilst participating in a derivative of
Laser Tag, some dumb kid on my team kept following me which resulted in my position being given away quite a few times. Finally, I convinved the kid that we should split up. I told him I would cause a distraction whilst he went round and stole their flag. Well, he ran off and immediately drew the attention of the opposite team in their base, as they were shooting at him, I used the opportunity to sneak round the back put my gun through the window, shoot everbody and steal their flag.
However, this can cause negative effects, universally known as
'Retard's Revenge'. Even on the internets, an enraged retard is a dangerous individual. Real life encounters can be deadly depending on size. The average retard is no more stronger than you or I but if infuriated with Retard's Rage can disembowel you with their bare hands. To combat this you must thus know their weakness. Cake. Becuase let's face it, who doesn't want cake? With the retard distracted you have the chance to flee or to mace them. However, there is of course a rising number of retards the size of bears. If you enrage these individuals nothing can save you, not even the internet. It is best to run away with a group of friends. At best the retard will slaughter them allowing you to escape, with a possible love interest, whilst the cops finally kill the retard by shooting it even more. At worst you will all die, but you will be killed last possibly you allowing time to develop a scheme to kill the retard along with you.
The internets, however, has revolutionised the way we deal with retards today. The average retard does not understand that they are conversing with real people and will senselessly bash the keyboard and murder a few bystanders. However, the few retards that understand the internet well enough have the ability to track you down to your house where they will attempt to kill you in a number of obsolete ways until finally you nab the weapon you had by your side all the time and kill that retard or until they eat you. The only way to prevent this is to a)lone your house to one of your friends who you don't like that much or b)you kill them first. Pre-emptive strikes are always justified especially if they have WMDs. The bear-sized retard has psychic powers or is drawn to via a curse or is really a zombie. When they find out who you are, they WILL kill you, unless you take the advice given above, in which case they will still kill you but there is a 50% chance you will kill them first in which case you will be killed by the second retard who was there all the time but you just didn't quite see them. The only defences against the second retard is a)build an army clones, b)induce superpowers on yourself, c)utilise gamma radiation to tap into your inner rage c)miniguns, they ARE the ultimate weapons .
Here's a few pointers: -
- Retards don't actually rule the night, so NVG and Thermal goggles WILL come in handy unless you are dealing with psychic retards.
- With enough momentum, a fast moving retard is unstoppable, luckily there are few in existence.
- Nothing can fully distract a retard from it's goal. The only solution is to convince them that doing a certain act, i.e. running in the path of a train, will accomplish this goal.
In this day and age, an era where there are people who actually throw shit at each other, anything, could be possible.