Worst holiday ever

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Worst holiday ever

Postby Sarcasm » Wed May 14, 2008 3:54 am

1,000,000,672+1D4 Bludgeoning to the face, bitch!
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Re: Worst holiday ever

Postby Sage Of The Wise » Wed May 14, 2008 12:48 pm

don't you mean the best holiday ever?
And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
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Re: Worst holiday ever

Postby Sling » Wed May 14, 2008 2:01 pm

WHAT THE FUCK?! :shock:
In this day and age, an era where there are people who actually throw shit at each other, anything, could be possible.
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Re: Worst holiday ever

Postby Strayed Wanderer » Wed May 14, 2008 4:44 pm

There is also a legend of a demon that hid inside a young girl and castrated two young men on their wedding nights before a blacksmith fashioned an iron phallus to break the demon's teeth, leading to the enshrinement of the item.


Now we have to look out for vagina demons? I thought STDs were bad enough.
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Re: Worst holiday ever

Postby Greatchickenman » Wed May 14, 2008 6:04 pm

Clearly you've never watched La Blue Girl
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Re: Worst holiday ever

Postby Strayed Wanderer » Wed May 14, 2008 11:59 pm

It's been a long, long time since I've seen that.
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Re: Worst holiday ever

Postby Sling » Thu May 15, 2008 6:40 am

Image
I did have a better one lying around somewhere but I couldn't be bothered to find it.
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Re: Worst holiday ever

Postby Glenn47 » Thu May 15, 2008 10:32 am

There is also a legend of a demon that hid inside a young girl and castrated two young men on their wedding nights before a blacksmith fashioned an iron phallus to break the demon's teeth, leading to the enshrinement of the item.


A demon, a blacksmith, and an iron phallus? Awesome. Awesome holiday.
Oh, and he hid inside a "young girl." How young, I wonder? And if she was like 14, how did those guys get close enough to the girl to get castrated?

EDIT: Sooo I clicked a See Also, Vagina dentata!

Vagina dentata is Latin for toothed vagina. Various cultures have folk tales about women with toothed vaginas, frequently told as cautionary tales warning of the dangers of sex with strange women.


Erich Neumann relays one such myth in which “A fish inhabits the vagina of the Terrible Mother; the hero is the man who overcomes the Terrible Mother, breaks the teeth out of her vagina, and so makes her into a woman.”


Awesome. Toothed vagina.
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Re: Worst holiday ever

Postby Wellsy » Thu May 15, 2008 9:04 pm

OK, any holiday with the name of "Festival of the Iron Phallus" clearly deserves federal holiday status, giving everyone the day off to venerate their local penis shrine to ward off any potential "social diseases."

This topic concerns and excites me on several levels.

p.s. I'm fairly sure Toothed Vagina would make an excellent name for a metal band.

p.p.s. I'm shocked no one has posted this yet:

Image
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Re: Worst holiday ever

Postby Greatchickenman » Thu May 15, 2008 9:12 pm

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Re: Worst holiday ever

Postby Sling » Fri May 16, 2008 3:04 am

I've heard of that movie before. Just thinking about it makes me giggle.
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Re: Worst holiday ever

Postby Wellsy » Fri May 16, 2008 4:23 pm

Wow, that plot synopsis is something else. Of course, with a horror movie about a toothed vagina munching off penises, what else would you expect?
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Re: Worst holiday ever

Postby Sage Of The Wise » Fri May 16, 2008 10:18 pm

To be honest, a penis that fights back.
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Re: Worst holiday ever

Postby Glenn47 » Sat May 17, 2008 12:46 am

Perhaps an Iron Phallus?

That movie...well...sounds really bad. REALLY dumb. But it got 79% good reviews! Hooray!
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Re: Worst holiday ever

Postby Wellsy » Mon May 19, 2008 7:49 pm

Wellsy wrote:Of course, with a horror movie about a toothed vagina munching off penises, what else would you expect?
Sage of the Wise wrote:To be honest, a penis that fights back.

Excellent point. Or at least a penis that might give the toothed vagina the gum disease gingivitis. Or, you know, herpes.
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