The Empire vs The Ewoks

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The Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi?

Empire
9
45%
Jedi
11
55%
 
Total votes : 20

The Empire vs The Ewoks

Postby Angel_OA » Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:21 am

EmperorJeramyu wrote:And Empire is so not fucking better than Jedi. NERD RAGE.

I couldn't let a travesty like this lie.
Now don't get me wrong, Jedi is awesome but it was made around the same time Lucas started to lose the plot.
So everyone post their choice BEARING IN MIND THAT:

Empire starts off with the Battle of Hoth
In Empire you discover that Vader is Luke's father
Empire ends with several cliffangers and is probably the closest thing to a 'perfect' sequel we'll ever get

Jedi starts off with the Rancor
An entire legion of the Emperor's finest troops were defeated by, let's face it- teddy bears armed with sticks and rocks
Jedi has a good ending, The Empire is destroyed and everyone's gonna get wasted. But I always feel empty at the end because there's nothing to look forward to.
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Re: The Empire vs The Ewoks

Postby Porter » Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:59 am

Uh....Empire Strikes Back hands down.
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Re: The Empire vs The Ewoks

Postby Sling » Tue Aug 12, 2008 10:15 am

There are Episodes VII, VIII and IX, George Lucas just can't be arsed to make them thought becuase he doesn't want to fork out all the actor's fees. So Jedi does lead onto something, we'll just might never see it.
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Re: The Empire vs The Ewoks

Postby EmperorJeramyu » Tue Aug 12, 2008 11:02 am

Angel_OA wrote:
EmperorJeramyu wrote:And Empire is so not fucking better than Jedi. NERD RAGE.

I couldn't let a travesty like this lie.
Now don't get me wrong, Jedi is awesome but it was made around the same time Lucas started to lose the plot.
So everyone post their choice BEARING IN MIND THAT:

Empire starts off with the Battle of Hoth
In Empire you discover that Vader is Luke's father
Empire ends with several cliffangers and is probably the closest thing to a 'perfect' sequel we'll ever get

Jedi starts off with the Rancor
An entire legion of the Emperor's finest troops were defeated by, let's face it- teddy bears armed with sticks and rocks
Jedi has a good ending, The Empire is destroyed and everyone's gonna get wasted. But I always feel empty at the end because there's nothing to look forward to.

Oh god, are you one of those people who just can't accept a conclusive happy ending even if it's a porno or something? I get into huge spats with these artsy fuckers (not calling you one, just saying) who need to be spoon fed ambiguous, sequel-leading crap that's so overdone I'm pretty sure happy endings are actually the minority now (in what I call a reverse-cliché). Sort of like how crossover battles can never end in a conclusive victory (AvP, FvJ) as to not summon the fanboy brigade, writers have to end stories on uncertain notes to please these pretentious, Disney-phobic assholes who fail to realize Disney hasn't done anything directly worth notice in like 10 years.

Both types of endings have their strengths, I'll admit. Grey endings are good done right (The Way, Skeleton Key, though that might be considered a bad ending), but downright awful when done poorly (Fullmetal Alchemist, which was already fielding one of the worst plot twists in history, in what I consider the grandest train wreck ending to an anime ever followed by the obligatory movie which still doesn't resolve anything; The Hills Have Eyes remake, Matrix Revolutions... sort of). Good endings at worst are Disney-esque, and at best are like Bourne Ultimatum, Jedi pre-Lucas fuckover, Die Hard, etc.

But if you ask me, bad gray endings are worse than bad good endings just because of the sheer level of pretentiousness and Hollywood-sequel greed. Much like how hardcore leftists piss me off more than hardcore conservatives, intelligent stupidity offends me exponentially more than stupid stupidity.

Of course with Star Wars it's all a moot point, because it fucking started with Episode 4, and New Hope had a decently conclusive ending that only left minor room for a sequel. And all the extended universe shit past Jedi had the emperor resurrected about 8 billion times, so we can clearly see money has always ruled the Star Wars franchise.

Actually, the endings have nothing to do with why I like Jedi more than Empire. I like Jedi more because of the bit where Luke grabs the diving-plank mid-fall, springs up, does a flip, and catches his lightsaber. That's it. That's the only reason. But I did want to get that rant out... so thanks for facilitating that.
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Re: The Empire vs The Ewoks

Postby Sage Of The Wise » Tue Aug 12, 2008 11:12 am

Never a huge Star Wars fan, but between the two I'd go with Empire. Ewoks pretty much killed Jedi for me.

*goes back to watching Firefly*
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Re: The Empire vs The Ewoks

Postby Strayed Wanderer » Tue Aug 12, 2008 11:25 am

All Empire had going for it was the Battle of Hoth... and even then...

Also, Ewoks own your ass.
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Re: The Empire vs The Ewoks

Postby Wellsy » Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:01 pm

OMg wher is Ep 1 Fantom Menase option! It had best grafix + cool fite moves!

As a kid, I remember liking Jedi better, so I'll vote for that one, though I like both of them nearly equally. Your rant was awesome, Jera.
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Re: The Empire vs The Ewoks

Postby Sling » Wed Aug 13, 2008 3:03 am

I hate it when people compare I, II and III to IV, V and IV. The only good things about I, II and III were the lightsaber battles. Darth Maul was decent villain, until he got killed by Obi Wan, who wasn't even a full Jedi. Grievous with the 4 lightsabers was badass, but the lightsaber battle didn't last long enough, and Obi Wan beat Grievous far too easily and not with a lightsaber.
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Re: The Empire vs The Ewoks

Postby Fitz Tayo » Wed Aug 13, 2008 3:58 pm

Empire all the way. Purely for nostalgia's sake.
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Re: The Empire vs The Ewoks

Postby Strayed Wanderer » Wed Aug 13, 2008 9:13 pm

Fitz Tayo wrote:Empire all the way. Purely for nostalgia's sake.


I'll forgive that because of the head injury.
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Re: The Empire vs The Ewoks

Postby EmperorJeramyu » Wed Aug 13, 2008 9:44 pm

Yeah yeah everyone, keep bitching about the Ewoks, I know you're covering up. You're covering up because you don't want to remember. Remember the shot where that one Ewok gets shot and its buddy tries to wake it up, only to slump over and cry out in defeat and misery. I know you fucking cried when that happened, but it's no reason to hate the Ewoks you emotionally defensive bastards. Fuck Darth Vader's revelation in Empire, the Ewok death was the most emotionally charged and heart-wrenching scene in all the Star Wars movies. Plus having a shot where the cute fuzzy creature mourns its dead friend was the only moment of cinematic brilliance George Lucas has ever achieved.
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Re: The Empire vs The Ewoks

Postby Sling » Thu Aug 14, 2008 5:15 am

I think the Ewoks beating the Storm troopers is quite feasible.
a)The Ewoks have lived on that moon for longer than the storm troopers and would thus have detailed knowledge of the moon's surface and terrain.
b)They caught the storm troopers by surprise.
c)They're fucking small, so they're harder to hit. Plus they were partially hidden by all the foliage due to their lack of height.
d)If they're the emperor's best men then how were they unable to stop Luke Skywalker, Hans Solo, Chewbacca and Princess Leia killing a fuck load of them in A New Hope? Surely they'd be better marksmen?

Oh and, e)What Jera said.
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Re: The Empire vs The Ewoks

Postby Greatchickenman » Thu Aug 14, 2008 7:40 am

Regardless, if Lucas wanted the whole "tribe of primitive creatures that bring down the technological Empire" theme, then it would have been much more meaningful to make that tribe the Wookies, though I'm not arguing against using the Ewoks for reasons that Lucas explained.


As far as believability it's the forest moon of Endor, so the Imperials wouldn't be able to land heavy machinery as easily, and if they could it wouldn't be very maneuverable.
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Re: The Empire vs The Ewoks

Postby Fitz Tayo » Thu Aug 14, 2008 10:58 am

I never found any problem with the ewoks. I mean, come on, they take out one of the chicken walkers (I think they're called AT-STs but that might be the ones with four legs). With only some rope and tree they take out a bipedal tank thing. They're fucking resourceful. At least the Ewok's were lovable, I don't know a single person who would say "no" to punching Jar Jar Binks in the face. And with good reason too, he sucked ass.

The reason The Empire Strikes back is better is because:

1. The introduction of Lando Calrissian as a character (Though him blowing up the Death Star in Jedi is frickin' awesome).
2. The introduction of Yoda as a character.
3. Hoth. When Luke is hanging from the Yeti's cave and he uses the force to physically move his light saber for the first time. Sheer unrivaled awesome.
4. The ending. The sheer suspense of wondering whether Vadar was really Skywalker's father and what the fuck was going to happen to Han Solo after being frozen in Carbonite (I think it's carbonite).[/nerdtalk]
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Re: The Empire vs The Ewoks

Postby Forerunner » Sun Aug 17, 2008 1:00 am

Sling wrote:I hate it when people compare I, II and III to IV, V and IV. The only good things about I, II and III were the lightsaber battles.

Indeed.

Sling wrote:Darth Maul was decent villain, until he got killed by Obi Wan, who wasn't even a full Jedi.

How true it is. One day while bored I looked into the 'official' star wars history to see if it mentioned Revan at all (fuck yeah, KotOR) and ended up looking into the different lightsabre fighting styles, which lead into looking up double bladed lightsabre styles, which lead to Darth Maul. It didn't tell you shit about him in the movie, but he was one badass guy. Sidious chose him as his apprentice because he thought he had the potential to succeed him (as he did with Anakin) and all things considered; Obi-wan really didn't have a chance. I guess the Lord really does help those who can roll criticals in a pinch.
Last edited by Forerunner on Tue Aug 19, 2008 7:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
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