Enjoying Schadenfreude

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Re: Enjoying Schadenfreude

Postby Debacle » Mon May 24, 2010 1:19 am

The fundamental tragedy of 'nice guy syndrome.' I don't want him in my bed, I don't want him in my life, I don't want him angry, so I tell him he's a good guy, hope to never see him again, and he takes his issues to the next unlucky young lady who does the same thing. Maybe I'm wrong, but if someone much larger than me and with lots more testosterone, and sexually frustrated makes it clear he blames his problems on my gender, then I don't feel like I should be expected to point out his personal flaws. He should have friends who can tell him he's doing something wrong.

I'm not sure that would work. Saying the truth about what you think, without any kind of sarcasm or sub-text implying - in a sort of "same level adults" way - would be the best alternative, in my opinion. I understand why you wouldn't want to be the one to say he's wrong, but also, don't say he is right.
I know how much this is a unleveled comparison, so don't take it so seriously:
The same way he tries to apply the "being nice" act, when you "tell him he's a good guy" but really hope to never see him again you are in a sort of "being nice" of your own.
If you give some pity compliment to these kind of guys, they will filter out the pity part and think you actually like them.

drinking the small coffee he bought me = implicit permission to fuck

Hahaha, I would bet 90% of the guys who try to "buy the lady a drink" think they will have implicit permission to something in case she accepts.
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Re: Enjoying Schadenfreude

Postby Impossible » Sat May 29, 2010 5:55 am

Wait, Reaper, aren't you a lesbian? I thought all the women here were.
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Re: Enjoying Schadenfreude

Postby Sling » Mon May 31, 2010 8:06 am

This is the lonely planet problem, the belief that one is alone in their sufferings, and that nobody else cares or understands. This is contemporary society for you. Producing people that are hideously unprepared for the real world, and crumble at the slighest thing. The problem isn't guys or girls, but both. I have found that most people can be divided into two classes: arseholes and neurotics. Obviously, this is a generalisation that doesn't take into account every nuance of every single person's personality, but essentially it can be boiled down to arseholes who don't care, and neurotic people who care too much. I personally have no idea how to attract women, and have no clue how to participate in social situations, so I don't bother, and hence don't give much of a shit.
In this day and age, an era where there are people who actually throw shit at each other, anything, could be possible.
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Re: Enjoying Schadenfreude

Postby Forerunner » Tue Jun 01, 2010 4:36 am

My friend argues that people who've succumbed to apathy make up a large group yet fit neither of those categories. I agree, but concede that nobody is completely apathetic, and even if they were they were probably driven into it from caring too much (neurotic) and now do not care at all (arsehole).
Black-Cat wrote:Only the ones with egos made of steel can withstand the scourge of emotional deterioration often referred to as "having no life".
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Re: Enjoying Schadenfreude

Postby Irony » Tue Jun 01, 2010 1:02 pm

If you're a misogynistic prick that only wants to get laid, you better be rich, hot, or useful. If you lack any of those there's really no reason for anyone to like you.

As to genuine nice guys - women are generally passive. If its just a flick you need to be the active one and come up to them. Like any other action the ritual dance of mating is a skill - one that demands practice. You don't walk up to a piano and expect to instantly perform a symphony. If you're looking for something more serious (and most relationships are just for fun, though people won't admit it) its up to fate, although you may need to give it a push and once again take initiative if you think you spot an opportunity - for this one, be yourself since pretending to be someone else is bound to backfire if the relationship actually does become more serious.

Basically, if you don't try/practice you won't become better. If you look at the mirror and see someone you cannot love, chances are no one else will until you fix what's wrong with you - this does not equals getting rid of what makes you, you; this means purging what even you yourself understand as negative.
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