Crestfallen Studios

by **Telephalsion** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 12:32 pm

Here's your chance to bad-mouth every game, game genre or game series you've ever had something against.

Most RPG games: Wh7y the hell should you find a chest containing a magical item in the middle of a god forgotten cave? Why find a chest of thousand gold coins along a road? Why the hell are RPG's filled with chests? Who places them there? Atleast you can blame the forerunners in the way.

by **Porter** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 12:36 pm

Dragon Valor by Namco, what a piece of trash. I can't believe that was 45 bucks. Fuck Namco, i hate them now just for that.

by **Fitz Tayo** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 12:36 pm

And WHY god WHY!? Do keys disapear when you unlock a door, and a mysterious voice echos... The key turned to dust!.... It's okay with ancient seals, their magic, but a garage door key?

by **DSOK** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 1:44 pm

Telephalsion wrote:

Most RPG games: Wh7y the hell should you find a chest containing a magical item in the middle of a god forgotten cave? Why find a chest of thousand gold coins along a road? Why the hell are RPG's filled with chests? Who places them there? Atleast you can blame the forerunners in the way.

This is one of my biggest RPG pet peeves as well. They got rid of it in Final Fantasy VIII, but the replacement system left something to be desired. I mean, taking a quiz to increase your salary? What's with that? And the weapon upgrades were almost equally lame.

Realistically (or as "realistically" as can be in fantasy and science fiction games), you shouldn't need huge chests full of gold, because there shuoldn't be really powerful items for sale. How do you get a powerful weapon? You beat some powerful enemy who is wielding it. The only games I can think of where you get something like this are those belonging to the Dungeon Master/Eye of the Beholder subgenre.

Fitz Tayo wrote:

And WHY god WHY!? Do keys disapear when you unlock a door, and a mysterious voice echos... The key turned to dust!.... It's okay with ancient seals, their magic, but a garage door key?

Dungeon Master was a pioneer in having tons of keys and locked doors, and it bothered me that the keys disappears. However, years later, in Dungeon Master II (not Chaos Strikes Back), they fixed this. You could take keys in and out of locks, lock monsters in rooms, etc. Unfortunately (and here's my flame), the game played just like the original. There were seven or so years between them and almost no improvement in the gameplay!

by **Telephalsion** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 2:31 pm

thats what i liked about MUD's if you wanted to find the "onyx longsword called Chakara the souldrainer" you had to find some nearly unbeatable enemy who you had to ammass a group of like 30 50/50 warriors to handle. and then you had to make sure he held the weapon before engaging him. The enemy spawned more often than the weapon.

And you didn't find random chests with items all over the place. People who had been playing sold their "less powerfull" weapons on the auction enabling newbies to buy them.

I hate final fantasy's obsession with having large breasted female charactes...

by **Comodo** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 3:20 pm

I belive "The Hobbit" Is the stupidiest platformer/rpg ever.
"Oopsie! I must have had a hole in my pocket! Now I've lost my silver pennies! I'll have to keep a eye out for them!" Question: Since when did coins "Roll" to the other side of the PLANET?

by **Amgard** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 4:17 pm

My beef: Everything Square has made in the past 10 years

Reason: It's all whorish as hell. The plots are all written in the same godamn way. The characters are choppy and unrealistic, the gameplay is bland and (ALwAYS!) majorly disbalanced. They sell out characters to their other games in hope that they sell. And the worst reason of them all: Idiots cry over the games, JESUS H. CHRIST! They think Squall/Cloud/Fag/MegRyanPornStar are all real people. Then they go out into the real world, trying to find chocobos, dressing up as their favorite character despite being too fat or gangly to play the part, then they draw hentai of these characters and go home drunk, probably just having spread their diluded seed among the populace.

The solution: Kill everyone who's ever participated in the following game projects:

-Chrono Cross
-FF7-11
-Any FF remake
-Kingdom Hearts
-FF the movie and Advent Children (Yeah, Sephiroth is in it too)

And murder anyone who supports the following:

-That bastard artist who draws all the characters like they're wearing whore make-up
-The game music
-FF plushies
-Cosplayers
-Furries (To be on the safe side, they're likely FF fans too)

Then install Enix and Namco to make games in their place. I guarentee the game industry will be fixed overnight (If not, we'll deal with Konami and Film Student Hideo Kojima next.)

There, vented.

by **Teenr0cker** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 5:00 pm

I tried a MUD once.....I chose the darkness affinity or something and if something happened before i could finish typing, it would interrupt me and then delete the message/command......ex: command: pick up ite- "you grow weak from the light of a nearby torch".....command: pick u- " your 3rd stomach growls" .......command: go wes- "Satan has appeared and attacked you since you were hungry, weak, and you never got that item".....(insert insane fury here)

by **Strayed Wanderer** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 8:53 pm

Eh... RPGs need more lesbians, hot naked lesbians.

by **rangi** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 2:48 am

Why has a wild beast got money in RPGs?
what are they supposed to do with gold?

Also, If I have to fight a big monster I'd wear a heavy armor
not a mini mini skirt.

by **Impossible** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 4:09 am

Amgard, I love you in a completely non-sexual way. Get AIM or MSN or something, if you don't have it. We have much to discuss.

by **TeppicTheBloodLyn** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 4:55 am

rangi wrote:Why has a wild beast got money in RPGs?
what are they supposed to do with gold?

well, in some really old rpgs, the solved that problem by saying they sold parts of the animal, like furs, or whatever that might be used to make some sort of medecine.(or drug) it's a miracle there was enough left of the animal afterwards to get items aswell.

by **EmperorJeramyu** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 5:34 am

Come on, guys! The RPG thing has already been done.

Think of something original.

by **Impossible** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 5:50 am

I love that list. It's so true.

by **Porter** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 5:53 am

lol, that was a great list....

but somehow we're drawn into it every time.

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