That's a very good question...I believe the proper witty remark would be because Lun keeps my childhood female friend locked in his lair atop Mt. Harmonica in LaLa land. I need to keep up my average posts per day count in order to keep her alive until I figure out how to rescue her. If I get to her soon enough, I might unlock the special scene at the end.
GCM's answer: Thinking random people you meet online are as good as real friends are sad. They're e-friends: friends, only online, and not so personal.
Teen's answer: Don't get all illogical on me now Impy, you were doing so well. You know, I once heard somebody say, in real life, "I don't like you! Go away forever!"? I've heard a toddler say that. A little toddler. I thought we'd made progress...You clearly misjudged my statement's value. I never said I disliked being here. I'm sure we're both aware that I can just get up and never come back if I feel inclined, but no such feeling has happened yet. I don't think it's a healthy social habit to believe that people you've never even met face-to-face are your close, personal friends.
Sure, I'd be more than happy than to go up and meet Porter, any time I could, but until then, he's just just an e-friend, the substitute for real friends. It's never anything personal, it's more to avoid living in the illusion that you've got "plenty of buddies! Just check out what they say about you on the forumz (yo)".
I mean, I don't know what your say on that sort of belief in how intense an online relationship can get before it gets creepy, but I like to think that I respect you too much to make a bad conclusion about how you value your online aquaintences. But seriously, that "I can't bear your presence, which is a mighty burdon on me, depart at once" crap isn't your style Impy, because, like I said, that's not the kinda stuff you usually say. I've been told it's best to aim for *higher* standards, but whatever floats your 5 tons of flax.